Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
