Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
