I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize