recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i dont even know how to be here
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My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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