I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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