Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize