did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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