did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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