I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
