you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
