as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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