READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
