Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
