Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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