after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
