So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
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I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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