Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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