Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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