Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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