At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
