If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
