You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
