just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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