I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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