Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
