she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
