Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
