A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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