This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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