'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
