He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
