nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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