HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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