i don't like sucking hair
Just fell off a train. Bad.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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