I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
