I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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