Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
