I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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