it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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