bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
