They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
