yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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