She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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