I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
