I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
third nipple confirmed
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize