Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize