So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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