ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
