would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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