My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
