We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
