theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize