Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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