??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
