Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
