somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
