I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just saw a hot homeless man
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize