It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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