I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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