I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
