I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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