am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
