How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
