you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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